Oh crikey, where to start?
My solid, happy marriage is over. We've been struggling for ages, and last night the admission finally came that he's having an affair with someone from work. And that he loves her! Or at least he thinks he does!
So, what happens now? He's not going to fight me for custody of K, which is one good thing, but how on earth do we tell her? Should he move out? What's best for her? I'm usually such a grounded person, but this has really knocked me sideways.
We were a strange couple really in a lot of ways. He's the tidy, sensible one. I'm the messy football lover! He doesn't like football. We don't share the same taste in music. He doesn't really drink alcohol. Or enjoy going out. He hasn't been around much lately, always being sent away on courses (which he swears are genuine)and working late every night. K has been getting used to not having him around all the time, and I've effectively been a single parent.
He says he's confused. That he started the affair because he was fed up with me rejecting him, and she showed some interest in him. Perhaps that is true - if a relationship fails, it isn't usually the fault of just one person. And I think the love we had for each other died a long time ago.
But, right now, I have no idea what I should be doing / feeling / saying. My legs are shaky, and my eyes swollen. In little over 2 hours, I have to pick K up from school - what if she guesses something is wrong? What on earth do I do next?
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About Me
- FunkyMunky
- I'm a full time housewife and mother. I live in Essex with my husband, daughter,two cats, lots of brand new fishes and loads of toys (not mine)who feel like part of the family!!
Blogs I Follow
Favourite Albums (some of them)
- Blue For You - Nina Simone
- Hopes & Fears - Keane
- Little Black Dress - Anny Celsi
- All I Know - Diana Cormie
- Morning Glory - Oasis
- Tourist - Athlete
- Back To Black - Amy Winehouse
5 Favourite Songs (in no particular order)
- Tourist - Athlete
- You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse
- Eye of The Tiger - Survivor
- Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis
- Angels - Robbie Williams
7 comments:
Oh I am thinking of you, awful news and a terrible shock I am sure. Not that I am much good at advice, but firstly and most importantly you must look after yourself here. Find someone you can talk to, who won't tell you what you should do, as only you can make that choice, you need a good listener, while you thrash out all of your feelings and confusion. Sending you lots of purple vibes. Posie xx
Sorry to read this Funky. Sending some vibes and hugs.
Toady
XX
Dear FM, so sorry to hear this, do you have a good friend who you could talk to. Is there anyway you could get to the Citizens Advice Bureau, they may be able to help you, also perhaps getting a good solicitor, I know from experience that the first half an hour with a Solicitor is free.
Don't forget we are here for you FM, in the meantime sending huge hugs and purple vibes to you over from Norfolk.
xx
bloody hell, sorry! how awful. Am hoping you've got good, lcoal friends to help you through - one day at a time is all you can hope for. And it's a time when a day can be long. your little girl is just beautiful (that Aladdin photo!) and, sad as it is - they are very adaptable and strong. Good luck, FM, you poor sausage. Down with rotten cheating husbands. You're better than him by miles. XX
One day at a time as Milla says. Been where you are so I do know how hard it is. Very often in the break up of a marriage there is a lack of communication on both sides, but don't let your husband try to make his affair your fault. He was the one that chose to have an affair - if the marriage was over it would have been more moral of him to have left you before getting into bed with another woman.
You know where we are FM on Purplecoo there are always plenty of us ready to offer you support and to just let you talk.
I hope you have friends and family to support you. My heart goes out to you.
And for what it is worth - I think he is the one that should leave. No need for your daughter to know about the affair, just that Mummy and Daddy don't want to live together any more and make sure she doesn't blame herself.p
And as Camila says get yourself a good solicitor - make sure you know where you stand financially you need to look after you and your daughter because he isn't going to and you need to be independent from him as quickly as possible.
Oh I am so genuinely sorry for you. I've been through two divorces myself, and my first husband was unfaithful, so understand some of your pain, though everyone's situation is different. If I can help in any way, please pm me. Your child will take her attitude from you, so, hard as it is, you must do your best not to blame her father in any way in front of her. Big hugs!
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