Remember me?

Well, I do not know where the time has gone! Why is it that when I wrack my brains trying to think of exciting things I've done in the past months, I can't think of a single thing. And yet, I know I've been busy ... in fact, there never seems to be any spare time ... so I must've been doing something interesting enough to share with you!?

I will start, I think, by referring back to the subject of my last post (can it really be 10 months ago?), Tara. We've had no more disappearing acts from her, which is good. However, as some of you may recall, we had to take her to the vets at the end of last year, as her breathing was very heavy and fast. The vet diagnosed a problem with her heart, and gave her approx 9 months to live. Those 9 months will actually be up later this month, and though I do not want to tempt fate, Tara is still relatively healthy and active. She is on tablets, which are certainly helping her to have a good quality of life. A couple of months or so ago, we ran out of tablets, and the day before we were due to take her back to the vets to get some more, Tara was violently sick, and my husband said he expected her to die on the vet's table as she was shaking and even weed herself, which has never happened before. However, as soon as we replenished the tablets, Tara settled down again, and although her energy level isn't brilliant, she still manages to get about, and even catches the odd bird (not something I ever thought I'd be pleased about).

K has almost completed her first school year ... how on earth is that possible? I can't beleieve how much she has learned. She has made some good friends, and despite the fact that she is much smaller than everyone else in her class, she takes no rubbish from anyone. Which is reassuring, as it is one of the things I was worried about when she started school.

I'm working now. You may recall, some time ago, I was looking for something I could do from home - well, I found something - and often wish I hadn't! Once the school holidays are over, i intend to look for a "proper" job where I will get holidays and time off without losing money (hopefully anyway)!

K and I had our annual holiday to France in the Easter holidays. It was nice to get away and to spend time with my parents, but the weather wasn't very kind to us, and there isn't really very much to do in the part of South West France where my parents live. They still have their house up for sale, so hopefully they will be back over here before too long!

*photo is of nearby town of Chabanais.

At the end of March, hubby took us to Euro Disney for a few days. I can't really say we enjoyed it. The weather was indifferent. Everything was way too expensive ... especially teh food ... and basically it just did not compare at all with the parks in Florida! Oh how I'd love to go back there!

I'm really looking forward to the school holdiays, it will be lovely to have K at home with me again. Just like old times! I think some of the other mums are going to try to arrange at least one day a week where as many of us as possible can meet up in the park or something to let the children play while we watch and enjoy a good gossip! Of course, I'll probably be working ...

Euro Disney - Aladdin, Jasmine & K.

ONE WEEK DOWN - SEVERAL YEARS TO GO.

Well, the first week of school is over. And we've survived. The first day was so hard. When I woke up that morning, I felt fine and truly believed I wouldn't cry. However, when we reached the school, another mum was leaving and I heard her say to someone, "well, that's my last baby. They're all gone now." she sounded so sad, and I felt a lump form in my throat. The tears didn't start until we took K into the cloak room and I realised what a huge step this is. For both of us.

K, however has taken it all in her stride ... as she always does. She has really enjoyed her first week. She's only going part-time at the moment, and I suppose it does help me that she's only away for 3 hours at a time. Maybe I'll be upset again next month when she starts going full time. I hope not.

Tara seems to have settled back down now. we've given her loads of attention, and in return, she's brought 2 dead mice home for us. I figure that if she's bringing them here, she must feel that this is her home.

So far, here in Essex, we have been very lucky with the weather. We've had some rain, but nothing drastic. I've been watching the coverage on the news of the floods in Wales and Worcestershire this morning. It brought tears to my eyes. I feel so sorry for those people involved, especially the friends & family of the young lady who died. Having just heard that the bad weather is due to spread Northwards to Newcastle and surrounding area, I can only hope that it will not be as bad as predicted. Best wishes to anyone affected by the awful weather.

SHE'S BACK

Firstly, I'd like to say a huge thank you to everyone for your lovely thoughts and positive vibes.

Tara came home last night. I'd love to be able to tell you that she turned up out of the blue by herself, but that wasn't actually the case.

When hubby came in from work at about 7.30 last night, I went out to look for Tara by myself - I felt that if she was going to come out of hiding for anyone, it would be me! As I walked around the block, a young boy asked me if I was the lady with the missing cat. My spirits soared ... but he told me he hadn't seen her, just wondered if it was me.

Then, to my surprise, I saw my friend Paul - who doesn't live in the same town - he was out scouring the streets for Tara too. I thought I heard her in a garage and my hopes raised once more when I realised the occupants were away on holiday. Only to find they had actually gone away over a week ago so there was no way Tara could have been locked in their garage.

My neighbour came out of his house and was not best pleased to find us nosing into next door's garage. Until we explained we were looking for a cat. then he recognised me and as he and his wife have the keys, he took me into the other neighbour's garden. It was a disappointment as she wasn't there. In the meantime, Paul had wandered off in the other direction.

After looking in the garden, I was chatting to my neighbours outside their house when Paul suddenly rushed up from around the corner, breathless and panicky ... and with something in his arms. It was Tara.

I'd like to say she was pleased to see me and to be home ... but I don't think she even recognised me at first. I got a scratch on my face and a kick in the chest as I took her from Paul. Then once inside, she sat crouched on the floor, panting with her mouth wide open. It was a scary sight and we made sure our daughter didn't approach her as we weren't sure if she was hurt or traumatised or maybe even both.

However, as soon as she'd eaten her food Tara started to settle down. She let us make a fuss of her and was purring happily within minutes.

My husband spoiled the mood though by telling me that he feels she left home on purpose and that next time she goes missing we "shouldn't worry about her so much". He's never really liked Tara - she's too intelligent and independent for him - so totally different to her soppy little brother, who lets himself be a teddy bear for my daughter to play with.

Talking of my daughter, I took her to the doctors this morning for her rash. The doctor said he couldn't see anything. I was amazed! Then he put his glasses on and lo and behold he could suddenly see the spots! The upshot is that it isn't contagious and is most likely a result of dry skin and a virus rather than anything more serious. This is a relief as she starts school tomorrow. A thought which terrifies me. She's only four - and surely too small to be starting school already.

A GOOD RUN OF BAD LUCK

For years, I've been the kind of person who, no matter how bad things were when I went to bed, always believed they would be miraculously better in the morning. It was the only way I could cope to be honest.

Well, not any more. My world seems to be crashing around me and I feel powerless to do anything about it. I still have my health, as do my husband and daughter. We're still happy. So you may wonder what on earth can be so badly wrong with my lot.

Firstly, there's the luck thing. Everything ... and I mean everything that my husband and I touch is literally turning to poo. I've never been a lucky person. In a 50/50 situation, things would always go against me. But not to this extent. It's getting ridiculous.

The credit crunch is hitting us hard. I'm not working as I gave up work (temporarily at least) when I had my daughter. So we only have the one wage coming in. That's not as high as it was either, as hubby took a lower paid job last year to avoid the awful stress of his previous workplace. About 4 years ago, we invested in property ... now, you don't need me to tell you what a mess that market's in at the moment. We can't sell the flats as we'd make too much of a loss, even assuming anyone actually wanted to buy them, yet keeping them is pushing up our monthly outgoings to a frightening degree.

We have no family nearby to take care of babysitting duties - meaning i can't get a job even if I wanted to, because school holidays and any unexpected absences wouldn't be covered. Nobody's hiring anyway.

My beloved cat has gone missing. I've had my cats for 11 years and have always been closer to Tara - my daughter is closer to Troy. We haven't seen her for over 48 hours and usually we'd see her every day - even if just to feed her. We've put flyers through our neighbours' doors and on the lamp-posts nearby. My daughter and I have been out at least 6 times just looking for her. No sign. My friend has also been out looking for her. I've put an advert on a website online in the vague hope that someone may find her and post it on there. Our neighbour's daughter came round this afternoon after receiving the flyer, to say she'd seen Tara & Troy fighting outside her house. Everyone knows Tara by her big belly, and the girl was 100% sure it was Tara. But if it was, and she was that close to home, why didn't she come back? I fear the girl must have been mistaken.

Now, my daughter has a rash all over her body. It doesn't seem to itch or bother her, but is scary nonetheless. she has been vaccinated for all the usual childhood diseases, including chickenpox - though I've just read online that the vaccine is only about 70% effective! She starts school on Tuesday so we need to get that checked out tomorrow if it hasn't gone away.

Even my fantasy football team is fast turning into a joke. All my "best" players are picking up injuries and suspensions. I almost feel responsible for their bad fortune.

Every time there's a light at the end of the tunnel, somebody switches it off. Can I have some positive vibes & hugs sent my way please.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like a boring moan. I'm not a moaner by nature and would hate to think I'm turning into a grumpy middle aged woman!!

THE BIG ONE!!

Normally, I'm such a girl when it comes to my birthday. I just love the attention ... and the presents of course! But this year, it's different. I'm filled with an overwhelming, and probably irrational, fear of turning 40. Which in just 3 days will become reality.

It seems like no more than 10 minutes since I turned 30. Now, that was a birthday which terrified me so much at the time ... more so even than this one. I remember at the age of about 28-29 going off the rails big time. I was desperate to cling on to my youth ... and I felt that 30 was so ... well ... so old!!

What I didn't appreciate whilst in my 30s was that however old I felt, or indeed was, I was never going to be as young again. If that makes sense. So instead of dreading 50 (which obviously I will when the time comes) ... I'm going to try to enjoy my 40s ... well, that's the idea in theory anyway.

But it doesn't stop me from being in a blind panic when I think of the fast approaching milestone. I received my first card with "40" on it today ... and I felt a bit sick to be honest. It doesn't help that I am married to a man 11 years my junior ... so feeling old is a speciality anyway!

I just wish I'd had the foresight to appreciate my 30s ... because they're all but gone now and I'll never get them back.

Back to the grind

Hello everyone. I'm sorry that I've not been around much lately. There are a couple of reasons for my absence. The first being a total lack of "me" time. I have so many things I'd like to do, but every time I think there's a chance of five minutes to myself, something will happen to take it away! Not that I'm complaining really, it's quite nice to be busy.

The perfume business is still going well ... too well at times ... we're selling in the region of 30 items a week, which is lovely... but very time consuming ... I'm starting to dread the Christmas rush ... as much in case there isn't one as anything to do with the work involved!!




Secondly, my daughter and I have just returned from a week in France visiting my parents. We had a really lovely time. The weather was, on the whole, very kind to us. We managed to go shopping in Limoges twice ... where we had lunch at a delightful Vietnamese buffet restaurant. The food was wonderful ... so much more flavour in the dishes than anything I've tried in England. We visited a small but interesting tourist attraction called Feeriland (Fairyland ... picture is of one of their models) which my daughter loved. One day, it was so warm and sunny, we were able to sit by the deserted lake watching the ducks swimming happily and diving for their fish suppers. I read my book (Matthew Ford's Eating Up Italy ... which is quite brilliant) while my mum entertained my daughter ... who had a sudden reluctance to put her feet down in the water. Last year, she had a wonderful time splashing about in just a nappy. This year, however, there was no persuading her!! Even in her lovely new shiny swimming costume. They came across a tiny play area with a couple of swings and the little one was in her element then.

On Sunday, we visited the nearby town of Chabanais, where there was a harvest festival market. There were some lovely little stalls selling all kinds of crafts, potions and food. The crafts were out of my price range however. Everything was prettily decorated with plump orange pumpkins and other seasonal vegetables ... some of which I didn't recognise, but would've loved to try if I lived over there. I didn't buy anything ... though I'm regretting that slightly now ... as I was tempted by some herb salt, which I could have made good use of in my cooking! My daughter found a little park at the end of the market area, it had swings, slides and other small rides. My Dad had bought some roasted chestnuts from one of the stalls, and we munched them as we watched her enjoying herself. We had a bit of trouble persuading her to leave when we were ready to go home!

During our stay, the main thing my daughter noticed ... as I did ... was how quiet it is over there. We're used to the hustle and bustle of English life and there is no comparison with how peaceful it is in that part of South West France. It was nice to be able to go to a popular tourist attraction and not have to queue or fight our way past hordes of other sightseers. I know it was October, but according to my parents it wouldn't have been much different in high summer.

My Dad is much better now and it's lovely to see him looking so well. He's not yet recovered properly from the bug he picked up in the Hospital though and goes to see a specialist next month.

On the whole, I ate too much, drank too much and spent too much ... but isn't that the point of a holiday?

We missed hubby very much of course. He phoned us every day ... though I think he only actually got to speak to the little one about 3 times as she was usually sleeping off the effects of her day by the time he rang ... normally because she had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from wherever we had been.

Speaking of hubby. He is well into his new job now and seems to be enjoying it so far. On his first proper day, however, he came home miserable and was convinced he had made a mistake by taking the job. But, by the second day, he'd learned more and started to feel more confident. Hopefully, once he has completed the training and gets his own shop, he will enjoy it even more!

My friend Paul is coming to see us later this afternoon. I'm hoping that the weather stays as sunny and calm as it is now so that he can take the little one into the garden. She associates "Uncle Paul" with playing outside ... which is fine by me, as the great outdoors isn't exactly my forte ... well not in my garden anyway.

Thank you for reading. I hope to contribute again soon. Until next time ...

WHITE GIRL AT ONAM

Where on earth does the time go? I have been desperate to write this blog all week, and have finally managed to find five minutes to do so.

Monday 27th August was the day of Onam Festival. This is an Indian festival, celebrated mainly by the Hindus in the southern Indian state of Kerala. This is the area of India from which my husband's wonderful family hail.

Strangely, this is the first time I've heard of this annual event. I still have no idea why we haven't been involved on any of the previous years as apparently it has always been celebrated within our family.

Originally, this year's festivities were to have been held at my mother in law's ... but as she lives in a tiny one-bedroomed flat, it was deemed an unsuitable venue. Probably for the best, we were there last weekend for my brother-in-law's 21st and it was very much cheek to jowl... and there were only half a dozen of us that night! It was decided that the event would be held in MiL's sister's house instead.

"Auntie A" lives in Upton Park ... just behind West Ham's impressive football stadium to be exact. She has a nice house ... but there are no green spaces or beauty spots in that part of the world. Tower blocks and concrete are the order of the day. I wouldn't imagine one gets much privacy around there either as there are so many houses and so many people everywhere. Of all shapes, sizes and colours. But apparently it's a sought after area and I should imagine her house is probably worth more than mine.

I am told that Onam is a festival very much like our Christmas. We didn't exchange presents ... though my daughter did very well! Back in India, where it is celebrated properly, the rich always ensure enough food is available for the poor so that they don't miss out on any of the festivities.

The mainstay of the day is the food ... but I'll get to that later.

When we arrived, at about 1pm, the house was very quiet. Auntie's husband was the only person around ... apparently the women were upstairs getting dressed and we were the first relatives to arrive. This definitely helped our daughter to settle as she's not good with crowds of people, but if they arrive gradually, she's fine ... and enjoys being the centre of attention. We chatted to Auntie's Hubby for a while then made our way outside to the garden.

It 's the first time I've seen their garden. I didn't even know the house had a garden to be honest! But it does, and it's a surprising little haven. Peaceful and ... while not exactly pretty ... very homely. Rose bushes grow along the fences on either side and there's even a little fish pond. There's no lawn, but, as the sun was shining, we did make good use of the garden table and chairs.

A steady stream of visitors began to arrive. All the usual suspects in fact ... MiL and her husband, youngest Auntie R ... who is younger than me and a reluctant single mother ... Auntie A's children ... well they're not actually children ... J is 22 and married ... her brother A is 16. It was so lovely to see everyone. Auntie R and I have a good friendship and spent a long time chatting about her impending trip to India. She goes on Wednesday (my husband's birthday), and is very nervous about the flight. I totally empathise with her as I'm flying to France in a few weeks with my daughter and am already starting to fret about our journey.

The ladies were each dressed in colourful saris. They looked so beautiful, like sparkling jewels. I was offered a sari once for a family occasion, but decided against it ... much to my mum's relief. One day I would love to wear one, but I'll need to lose a considerable amount of weight first!

So, after an hour or so of idle chatter and laughter in the sunshine, it was time for the "Main Event" ... the food. Now this, is where things became really interesting ... and I am immensely grateful to both my MiL and Auntie A for the incredible patience and helpfulness they showed me. I'd asked hubby if there was anything special I needed to know ... he explained everything ... well, not quite everything!

We ate in "batches" of four at the little dining table in the kitchen.... but we didn't have plates ... oh no! ... we ate off banana leaves ... I'd never even seen a banana leaf before ... they're huge things ... green of course, and along the top edge of each leaf was a tiny row of beautifully coloured pickles and chutneys, including a shocking pink beetroot variety and three different ginger pickles. In the middle was a small pile of plain boiled rice. The whole visual effect resembled an artist's palette. To the rice, a procession of different vegetarian curries, none of which were very spicy was added one by one. They referred to these curries as "bisoms" ... sorry if that's not the correct spelling ... and referred to the pickles and chutneys as curries ... which I found very confusing ... as I did knowing which condiment was to be eaten with which course ... that hadn't been explained properly by hubby. "Oh I should've told you that." became quite a well used phrase during our meal. The pros ate with their hands ... whereas I ... the novice ... was allowed the luxury of a spoon!! One less thing to worry about at least!!

I finished my meal several minutes after everyone else and would have to say that I enjoyed the experience. It was stressful for MiL and Auntie A, as there were 4 sittings altogether and they oversaw them all, like colourful dinner ladies I suppose.

After our meal, it was back outside to the garden, where I chatted to Auntie R and hubby's cousin J again. We had a giggle and I have to say I really enjoyed the whole experience. My daughter, who normally doesn't like food, ate a little bit of the rice and some bisom ... not a lot admittedly ... but it was a start!!

Eventually it was time to leave so we said our farewells, and I took great delight in wishing everyone a "Happy Onam" which I think impressed them because I'd remembered the name! I don't think I'll ever forget it!

We called briefly at father-in-law's and spent a pleasant hour or so with him, his wife and her two children ... again, they're not children ... but then neither are William and Harry and everyone refers to them as "the boys". Luckily, FiL and his brood had already eaten ... I don't think I could've faced another banana leaf!! But he did give us savoury biscuits and fruit juice! I have to wonder where on earth hubby put the chicken burger & chips he bought later that evening!